On Helping Others

You shall love your neighbor

as yourself.

-Jesus, The Gospel of Matthew

Sometimes I have helped others reluctantly. I did it because it seemed like the right thing to do or because I couldn't in good conscience ignore the need, or because I'm committed to the principle of loving my neighbor. I didn't always like the person I helped. Sometimes I didn't enjoy helping them. Some of my neighbors were unable to appreciate my efforts, or they turned on me in anger and resentment, because they were so unhappy with themselves and their lives.

There have been a few times when I have almost abandoned my commitment to help others. Out of sheer exhaustion, deep hurt, or pragmatism, I've withdrawn. The life of giving does not always bring joy -- at least, not immediately. People can view genuine caring as an opportunity and take advantage of those who are givers. Sadly, we need to administer our help with wisdom and discernment.

This is why, every once in a while, God opens the curtain normally drawn across my view and lets me see how my choices influence the future. I think this helps me continue helping.

Over a period of two years, I helped a friend develop the relationship with God that she had always longed for. There were times when this was challenging and tiring for both of us. Most of the credit for her transformation belongs with her and her Lord. She has worked hard to grow into her new life and has been relentless in her pursuit of resolving issues from her past. God has met her efforts with gracious assistance. To my great joy, she "crossed over to the other side," as she put it.

She found her heart's desire -- a solid and meaningful relationship with God.

Then during the past six months, she appeared in the midst of our upheaval to help us and to provide for our needs. I could see, with my own eyes, how well and strong she had grown. I could see her desire to give back.

Recently, she told me that our two years together has been the crucial element -- the catalyst for her inner healing and growth. Now, out of her new strength and wholeness, she is planning to make a difference for others in substantial ways. This is a lifelong commitment, born out of maturity and a deeper perspective. She is already beginning to make a large impact on the people around her.

I said to my husband, "Isn't this wonderful?"

Our giving reaches out through the world and makes things possible which might not have been. But that's not all. It reaches beyond our time and space, into the lives of others we will never meet and into the future, into time after our time, and into eternity.

I believe that nothing we give is ever wasted. God sees and uses it all. Sometimes I have lost sight of this. Mostly, I have to accept it by faith. But once in a while, I'm allowed to see it.

Have you found that loving your neighbor is sometimes hard?

Photograph, copyright 2010 by Benjamin Frear.